say BYE BYE to the life you’ve come to know. BYE BYE lovely leather seats, BYE BYE magic fm, BYE BYE vaping out the back window as you drive across Waterloo bridge holding in sick. Uber is leaving us and we want to send it off in style by encouraging as many people to use it as we can. So we’re having a party in Tottenham!
WEAR: Carpe Diem seize your last chance to dress TOTALLY SLUTTY. A bra under a sheepskin! Pants and a see-through nightie! No coat just your phone! Bring a tiny bag! Things are about to change.. drastically.
DRINK: The “TFL”, a special cocktail only available from 24-hour off licenses: 1x can of choice, 1x ribena, 1x twirl, 1x menthol fag. Mix it all up in ur tum tum and add a few codeine paracetamols! Yummeeee!
EXPECT: Fully-automated nihilism, flagrant disregard of unions, a £40 cleaning fee, BANGERS ALL NIGHT LONG
GFOT-Y NOT TAKE A CRAZY CHANCE??
EX-VICE EMPLOYEE JOE BISH
Bae2Bae DJ MONTOYA AND Total Fitness
YUNG PRINCE 2SHIN
the small print!!!!!!!!!!!!!
£5 Ca$h for us + your fare for Uber (it’s practically a charity event!)
Write it all off on your tax bill as an expense! Consider it a meeting! Get online and go offshore! kisses babies
artwork by BEN FREEMAN mwah MWAH mwah